Communication Tips
For Parents
Communicating with Their Teachers
Dateline 08/12/97For Parents
Communicating with Their Teachers
Establishing a relationship with your teen's teachers is easier said than done. They have a teacher for every subject, and each teacher has more than one class. The time eliminate comes into play. Therefore, you don't always hear from a teacher until your teen is in trouble.
When I first started as a 'professional parent' of teens, I would get a lot of calls from teachers. Most of the calls would start out as an introduction, as I had never spoken to this person before. This, of course, would put me on edge. I would find myself defending my teen's actions right from the get go, instead of listening and helping with the problem. I have since matured as a parent. Here is a good article if you find yourself at that point Resolving Differences Between Teachers and Parents. I know now, that if I establish a relationship first, and keep in mind that the teacher and I have the same goals, it is much easier to deal with any problem that occurs.
Teacher's goals and parental goals differ in one aspect. Teachers want the child to succeed, academically, therefore they will succeed in life, Ten Things Teachers Wish Parents Would Do. Parents want the child to succeed, in all things, therefore they will succeed in life. Although both want the child to succeed, this difference leads to all sorts of communication problems!
One simple trick I have employed in the last 6 years is to write a note to each teacher. This opens up the lines of communication. I introduce myself, and let them know that I am available and interested in my teen's academics. I ask them to please keep in touch, that I appreciate good reports, and I will be there to help when there is a problem.
Now, here's the tricky part. I ask the teacher not to mention the note to my teen. It's not that I don't want my teen to know about the note, I do tell them about it. But I don't want the teacher to mention it to my teen in front of their friends. This is embarrassing to them, and can lead to problems at the supper table. (Yes, these are words of experience!)
